Just over a week ago, I had the privilege of visiting some friends that I’ve known for over a decade, and not just the two-legged kind. I met these people years ago when my grandpa and I stopped at their horse farm to say Hello. One thing led to another. I met the couple, I met the horses, and next thing I knew, I was being given permission to come out and ride. In many ways, it was my first step into the horse world.
I learned a lot while working on that horse farm. Although it wasn’t a large outfit, it was just right for me. It was a chance to have something to do after school and an excuse to be around horses. The owners had Missouri Fox Trotters—a breed I had only read about and still isn’t common today. I think the best way I can describe them is…fun. They are really enjoyable to be around, and not just because of their gait. They have a demeanor to them that I wish a lot of horses had.
Like most horses, these Fox Trotters were sensitive. It never took much to get a response from them. At the time, I couldn’t fully appreciate that sensitivity because this took place before learning under my horseman friend. But when I came back to the horse farm, I had a whole new love for sensitivity. I used to think that I had to do a whole bunch of this “pulling” or “pushing” to get things done—the kind of stuff that works one’s emotions and puts them and their horse through a lot of unneeded trouble.
Visiting the horses again was incredibly refreshing, and not just because I love being with horses. It reminded me how special of a thing it is to be a sensitive person.
Let me tell you about Annie.
For as long as I’ve known her, Annie has always been an extra-sensitive horse. It wasn’t common for her to let a stranger come up and rub her poll. For good reason, if a human came up to her with a not-so-considerate approach, she would usually recoil. And if that person didn’t adjust, they wouldn’t get another opportunity to come close.
Most horses are that way to some extent. It’s not because there’s anything wrong with them, but self-preservation is in their nature. If they sense that they need to protect themselves, they will do whatever they need to do to survive. There’s no discrimination, no favoritism.
That extra sensitivity is what I always liked about Annie. During my visit, she reminded me very quickly that rubbing her forehead only happens when she’s ready. Trying to force a hand would take away a lot of opportunity. It’s like what Ray Hunt used to say, “I do my thing his way”. I had to make an adjustment and give Annie the time she needed. Only seconds later, I could rub her all over. There was no struggle, no forcing, no tears, just consideration. It was how I got there that made all the difference.
Sometimes we try to force things in life. We want a relationship to work, so we force things. We want a friendship to thrive, so we force things. We want a higher income, so we force things. We want someone to become a Christian, so we force things.
There is a great lack of compassion and sensitivity these days when it comes to working with people—working in the sense that you want or already have relationship with them. We often want things to go a certain way, so we bypass a lot of the important stuff. We fail to get to know the person, we fail to take the time to understand, we fail to give much thought to our words, and we fail to give thought to the impact of our decisions. This can be true of Christians and non-Christians.
Some horses will put up with not-so-gentle humans, but there are others—like Annie—that won’t. And there’s some horses that will tolerate certain things, but, on the inside, it’s not going well at all. They would rather not be with the human because they know what the human is like. I can’t help but apply that to my life as well. Why would someone want to be around me? Or maybe, Why would someone not want to be around me? Those are important questions to ask. There's a reason people want to be around you and there's a reason they don't.
As a Christian, I stand for a lot of things that the world hates, which means that I’m a hated person by some people. But it’s of no surprise to me because Jesus said, “Don’t be surprised if the world hates you, because it hated Me first”. There will be people in this life who oppose God and oppose those who share the truth.
With all of that said, I also care about how I go about sharing that truth. I’ve had moments in my life when I’ve tried to “get someone to accept Jesus,” but my approach really needed to change. I was seeing myself as some kind of “mini-Messiah” that could bring that person to the point of salvation. But you know what? God is the only One who saves. He’s the only One who can bring a person to that point. The privilege of every Christian is to be His ambassador and share His message.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Those are words that I apply when I’m reaching people for Christ. Maybe like me you’ve had times when well-meaning people didn’t take a very considerate approach in getting to know you. They’ve demanded information or skipped that whole “trust process” thing. And when that happens, it becomes harder to trust someone again. Why bother taking a step of faith if things are just going to go wrong again? I understand that.
Before I became a Christian, God had already put all the right people in my life. They didn’t just share the Gospel message, they also lived it. I could see for myself that this “Jesus thing” was real and powerful in their lives. And, eventually, God brought me to that point where I realized that I needed Him at the center of everything. How those people went about things mattered to me. But here’s an irony with the whole thing: I went from being an imperfect non-Christian to an imperfect Christian.
As Christians, we don’t always do things well. Sometimes we really “boo it up,” so-to-speak. We push too much or maybe don’t follow through like we need to. But God uses us, despite the fact that we don’t always represent Him in the purest way.
You can understand that there is a difference between horses and humans. We aren’t creatures of instinct, they are. We ponder our lives, they do not. We can choose to forgive someone, whereas horses have no concept.
I’ve met a lot of Christians who live (what I will call) a ‘panic theology,’ meaning, “If I don’t share the Gospel with this person, they will go to Hell.” While Hell is the destiny of an unbeliever, I don’t believe it is the only thing that Christ wants to drive our motivation for doing what we do. In fact, I think such an idea lacks a lot of perspective. “Christ’s love compels us”. If loving a person in a conversation leads to a God-given opportunity to share the Gospel, wonderful! But not every conversation is going to present such an opportunity.
That might be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s the truth. Getting to know people is not a one-time occasion. It’s a process. And Christ uses more than one person in His Church. The whole body works together. It is a team effort.
We live panicky lives. We really get in a hurry. We have such a small view of God’s sovereignty. I’m using the word “we” because that includes myself. I can get panicky at times. I can really try to rush things. And I can have such a small view of God at certain moments. But we can trust God with a person’s salvation. It’s our job to simply be faithful.
Just like with Annie (or maybe a hundred other horses), I’ve seen what the pushy kind of relationship looks like, and it never ends well. I’ve seen people get hurt because the approach wasn’t good. I’ve seen people give up because they couldn’t take it anymore and didn’t want to change.
One of the most important things I’ve learned in working with horses is “Don’t do too much at one time”. If you keep asking and asking and asking, pretty soon there won’t be anything left to ask for. You give the horse the time he needs to learn, otherwise he will shut down, and you may not get another opportunity. It forces you to be sensitive.
Adjusting to fit the situation is a way of life. If you always take the same approach, don’t expect to always have the same results. Proverbs says, “Get wisdom, get understanding”.
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