“You want him in a learning frame of mind”.
That was something my friend always taught me with the horses. We often got horses from owners who had allowed their animal to run over them or take off with them or, in general, just run the show. It was our job to work out of the horse what other humans had put in there. And let me tell you: it wasn’t easy.
Horses are intelligent animals. “They learn the way they live and they live the way they learn,” Ray often said. They aren’t ‘dumb’ animals. Rather, it’s the human who doesn’t take responsibility. He doesn’t realize the role of leadership he has to play in the herd. Horses are followers and need good leaders—good teachers. They learn everything we teach them, and they live in the moment.
“Be careful what you put in there, because you’ll have a hard time getting it out”. Boy, was he right! Whether it was my own doing or someone else, if you ever put something into a horse that you didn’t want, you would shed sweat and tears trying to get it out.
That is the power of teaching. It tends to stick.
When a horse has a bad experience, it can be really difficult to get things done. Because they aren’t reasoning creatures like you and I, it’s not something where you can just tell him, “It’ll be fine”. He has to know that it will be. They learn in patterns and they follow their instinct. And if learned instinct tells them to take off, good luck holding on to that rope. They will do anything they have to do to survive. It’s the self-preservation that is very strong in them.
“Get him in a learning frame of mind”. I had to learn what that meant. It wasn’t something you could force on him. It was something you had to help him figure out. You don’t make the wrong thing impossible, but you can make it difficult. You discourage what they think they have to do, and you release when they try something your direction.
Sometimes they really have to go through a lot of difficulty to finally be in that frame of mind. For other horses—ones that haven’t been messed with—it takes very little. You allow them to work at it and find out what doesn’t work. You allow them to search and find it on their own time, learning to pursue release instead of running into pressure. You do what it takes. Sometimes you have to do a lot. You do what it takes to get them in that learning frame of mind. Pretty soon, they figure out that what they’re doing just isn’t working. Every time they try something, they get themselves into trouble. No horse likes trouble. So, he learns what he needs to do. Now he’s in a learning frame of mind. He’s ready to do things differently. If the human had just jumped in and tried to make everything happen, it wouldn’t have been real. It wouldn’t have come from the horse. But the human lets the horse work at it. Pretty soon, it all comes together.
“Sometimes you have to get to their lungs before you get to their feet, before you get to their mind”.
He was right again.
We really got the worst of the worst when it came to horses that people had ruined. So many of them had been through five or six trainers, and we were the last stop before the slaughter house. But it was these horses that made us horsemen. Everyone wants the easy ones and the ones that they can handle. But that is not how a person grows. He has to work with all different sorts and decide what character he is going to show.
Whether it’s horses or people, you’ll have to work with really difficult ones at times. And not everyone is in a learning frame of mind—a willing state. They might have to really come to a point where they say, “I’m done with this stuff. What do I need to do?” That’s when a person is teachable and can change. But until that time comes, the best and most loving thing you can do is let them work at it and figure out what happens and why it isn’t working.
Sometimes that “work at it” thing is not easy. You just wish so bad for a change (horses or people), and it feels like forever in its coming. But you hang in there and stay consistent. That horse or that person might have to go through a lot of frustration and sweat—and it might be over time. Change doesn’t come easy for those who aren’t in a learning frame of mind. Sometimes it takes years, and you wish it didn’t have to be that way. But it builds our character as we let others go through things.
In the Bible, God commanded the prophet Jonah to go to Nineveh and preach to the people there. But Jonah despised those people and feared them. So, he decided to rebel against God and sail in the opposite direction. (God let him do this too). Jonah sailed away in the wrong direction, but pretty soon God hurled a storm at the ship. Jonah knew why God was angry and whose fault it was that a storm had raged. So, he told the sailors to throw him overboard, knowing full well that he deserved God’s judgment. Jonah sank down into the depths of the dark sea, getting tangled in the seaweed of the ocean floor. By all appearance, this was it: death in the depths. But with his last bit of air in his lungs, he cries out to God for deliverance.
God did deliver him. And He did it with a huge fish. For three days, Jonah lay humbled in the stomach of that fish, contemplating his life and decisions. He was now ready and willing to do whatever God wanted him to do. And before long, the fish vomited him onto the dry land.
God was so loving that he let Jonah sink down to the depths. God was so loving that He gave Jonah good opportunity to rethink his life. And God was so merciful that He gave Jonah another chance. He had let Jonah come to the realization that his approach to life was not God’s approach to life.
God is patient, but boy, we need to rethink our approach to life. If our ways are not lining up with God’s ways, we need to change the direction of our feet. It’s just not working out. We need to be in a learning frame of mind. That means humbling ourselves before God. Whether one is a follower of Christ or not, we have that responsibility to ask God, “What do you expect of me? What do I need to do?” And then we need to do it!
You know, I see a lot of people messing around in life. They love doing things their way. They love pleasure and comfort and religious stuff and sports stuff and career stuff and all kinds of stuff. But it all leads to a whole bunch of disappointment if it’s not truly about God. It leads to endless frustration and heartache time and time again. It leads to an empty life without a pure ambition. It leaves a person raising their arms up in the air, looking around them, and asking, “What is going on??”
There’s some really hard people out there. Maybe you’re one of them. You’re not in a learning frame of mind. You don’t care about God. You won’t be told what to do. Christianity is for other people, but not you. You would rather be like Jonah and sail the other direction.
Do you know who really put Jonah through all of that hardship? He did. He chose his own way and about got himself (and others) killed. For a time, he lived like there was no God. He bought into the lie that God doesn’t see. He really thought that God was dumb and wouldn’t pursue.
Good thing God did.
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