Waiting.
That’s something the Lord is teaching me.
This is the first season of my life that God has made me wait. Now, when I say season, I’m not referring to a time period that lasts roughly three months. I’m talking about a season by God’s definition. It’s a timeframe that, more often than not, is drawn-out. It can last for years, even decades. It’s something where I often wished He would just give me the answer right away. But His ways are so much higher.
By my understanding—a human understanding—things should go from “this” to “that” and then to “that.” It seems logical and makes sense to me. But that’s not how God works. He does everything for His glorious purpose. It is to the praise of His glorious grace.
“His glory”
It’s almost embarrassing how easily I forget that that is the reason why I exist. I’m not here for me, I’m not here for others. I exist for Him. All the details that play out in my life are details that He formed from eternity past. He knew the people I would meet (and will meet). He knew the difficulties I would face (and He would walk me through). He knew the times of rejoicing and laughter. He knew the sorrows I would go through. He knew how much I would cry on my bed in the very early mornings. He knew the passions and gifts He would
give me.
He knew.
Living for the glory of God is not always easy. I’ve realized that it’s because doing the will of God isn’t easy. Followers of Christ are called to do some of the scariest and most difficult tasks that any man can do. And I’ve asked God so many times, “God, how can I keep doing this? How can I keep going?”
Only by His grace.
The Lord makes all the difference in my life. He’s the reason why I can keep going and be faithful to the end. Before He ascended to Heaven, He said, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” In other words, “Caleb, I’m with you to the finish line.”
That finish line is the one I’ve longed for. Over two decades of groaning and suffering and hardship make great demands on one’s heart and mind. I’ve often cried out to God, saying, ‘It is enough! I can’t take this! How am I supposed to keep going?? I can barely stand on my feet.” I couldn’t tell you the number of times I sank to my feet and sobbed because of the hardships. But it was in those times, that God reminded me, “There is a finish line. You’re here, because I want you here, and I’m going to do a work through you.”
As the years have gone by, I’ve taken great comfort in reading about the lives of the prophets. Did you know that the prophets of old had a lot of moments of “It is enough!”? Did you know that the saints of old had to commit to impossible tasks that the Lord was calling them to do? But God spoke great comfort to these individuals. He knew that the task He had given them would be an incredibly hard and demanding life. Some of them were never married. Some of them were tortured. They were hated, and it was rare to have supporting friends—people who would come alongside them. But they committed their lives to the glory of God, letting Him use them for His higher purpose.
How does a believer go on?
How do I stay on my feet?
How do I keep fighting in this spiritual war?
How do I maintain a godly perspective?
How do I do what I need to do, despite how it changes my life?
I’m not a prophet of old, but these are questions I’ve asked the Lord. I always knew the answer, but hardship can make such great demands. The cries of my heart are loud. And there is only One that I can take them to and get the perfect strength and healing that I need.
David wrote the words, “My heart says of You, ‘Seek His face.’ Your face, O LORD, will I seek.” That is the response that I always want to have before my God.
I know I’m not the only one walking through hardship. My brothers-and-sisters in Christ suffer just as I do. Together, we call upon our strong God, knowing that He is able to do the impossible.
In the past 6 years, my family has walked through great heartache. Years ago, my oldest sister made selfish decisions that led to a broken tie in our family. She chose to go her own way, and most of us haven’t had communication with her since. We miss her dearly. We’ve prayed for her with many tears, wanting her to listen to the Holy Spirit. But she has hardened her heart and refused to reconcile. It is a great hardship that we face as a family.
So, what can we do?
We wait upon the Lord and be faithful, knowing that He can do the impossible. He can change the hardest of hearts. It just might be something that takes years.
In my personal life, I’m in a different season of waiting. I’m waiting for the Lord to open two doors. The first is with the horses. Ever since I was 16, I’ve been convinced in the Spirit that He wants me to do something with my own horses. Many people have made suggestions, but I knew it wasn’t the Lord’s will. But I still walk in confidence, trusting His timing and His provision. I have my saddle ready, but it’ll be His choice when it’s time to start colts and ride. I refuse to take shortcuts or try to make things happen. Trying to force things will really get a man into trouble. I know what I’m looking for. But when it comes, it’s not gonna be about my efforts. It’s gonna be about God’s glory. I believe that He is going to do something in my day that I wouldn’t believe even if I was told. And that’s where faith is called into action. Faith without action is a dead faith. It’s no good. The Lord will continue to make me the cowboy and horseman that He wants me to be. In fact, the more I’ve grown, the more the Lord has been saying to me, “Caleb, I’ve called you to be more than a horseman. I’ve called you to be different and impact others for My cause.” And that is my aim in life.
There is glory in waiting. A verse from the Psalms has been my theme this summer: “Wait on the LORD; be strong and courageous and wait on the LORD.”
Before I read this verse, I never thought about courage applying to waiting. But the more that I have had to do it, the more I realize just how much courage it requires.
I used to think that the Christian life was always one of being on the move. I’m not even sure why I thought that. But there are going to be seasons of our lives when all we can do is be faithful and wait. If you read about the heroes of the faith and their life stories, I challenge you to note how many of them had seasons of waiting. It’s A LOT. And it made great demands on their character. They were in some of the hardest situations imaginable. And yet, God did something in their days that no one could have imagined. He changed them and used them. But a great part of that change in their lives…came from waiting on the Lord.
To my brothers and sisters-in-Christ, I want you to know that I love you with a deep love in Christ. You are precious to me, and I rejoice in the Lord that we stand strong together in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. Some of you are in situations that are making incredible demands on your hearts and minds. Some of you have greater hardships than my family or myself. But for all of my days, I will labor in my prayers for you, knowing that what we believe and what we do for the Lord is true and never in vain. It will last forever. Be strong and courageous and let not your hearts be troubled. We have such opportunity in these dark times. The joy of the LORD will be our strength. And though we suffer and have great agonies in our hearts, God will always be watching over us. If you’re in a season of waiting, don’t underestimate what God is doing. The Lord Himself is our peace. He is our very great reward.
To my friends who don’t yet know Christ, I love you with the same depth I have for my brothers and sisters. You are precious to me, and I will be praying for you. I can’t make anyone see their need for Jesus, but what I can tell you is that the change He has brought to my life has changed everything for the better. And the joy that I have, though life isn’t easy, is inexpressible. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” There’s countless things in this world that will disappoint. But Jesus Christ will never disappoint. He’s never gonna change. If you’re looking for genuineness, He’s the only genuineness there is. Call upon Him and be saved.
Some of you know me pretty well. I can get scared to speak in person. I tremble and get nervous. I’m not even a good speaker or the best writer. But I’ll keep using my words for the Lord. I used to feel pitiful that I couldn’t speak in front of a group of people. But that’s okay. I can type, and I can speak one-one-one with people. Not everyone should be on stage. Not everyone should be behind a microphone. Someday I’ll sit on top of my horses. And whatever measure the Lord’s decides He wants to use me, that’ll be the thing that I do. All I can do is shine and let Him take care of the rest.
I can’t heal my family. I can’t bring the horses. But I can be faithful, trusting what He can do.
The Lord strengthen your hearts and make your steps firm
Comments